2.23.2005
Natural Birth
Warning: this is semi-graphic
After delivering our first two babies in a local hospital (my wife did all the work), for reasons I won't explain right now, my wife and I decided to have our next baby at a delivery center with a midwife. You know, the whole natural birth, anti-doctor, anti-drug, anti-establishment, anti-anything-else-you-can-think-of crowd. Which is good, because we are a lot of that as well, although not all. Well, we have to go through childbirth classes, again, even though there's nothing new to us. So our instructor is this nice lady who happens to specialize in Hypno birthing, and is just the epitome of the natural birth scene. No problem. Well at the second class, my wife and I are there a little early with one other couple and this lady is rummaging around in the closet. At 7:00 she tells us that people who are late miss out on her special treats. My wife, since she is pregnant, seems to think she is referring to chocolate, I however, am a bit more skeptical.
She pulls out a blue plastic bag and sets it on the ground. Then she lays out all these cotton medical rags. Okay, what's going on? She's going on and on about how lucky we are and how we're going to be so excited. I thought this lady was going to burst herself, with how much excitement she had.
So finally she opens up the bag and out flops ---- a placenta. For those of you who have seen your wife's placenta and think its cool, good for you, but I had managed to make it through two deliveries without ever having to see the thing, and now here in front of me is some unknown lady's placenta. And this thing was fresh. She told us how a lady had delivered it there the same morning!
For the next half hour this lady is poking and examining this extremely bloody mound, and telling us all the bad things the mother ate, or where she was exposed to second hand smoke, or what kind of medicine she was taking. It was like sitting in on a spiritist or diviner's session. She was yanking away on the cord, and stretching the outer membranes. Anyways, when she pulled it out I was hoping that one of the pregnant women would lose it and throw up just to teach her a lesson for pulling that thing out without a warning. Needless to say, it was an interesting class.
So do any of you out there have any special placenta stories? Anyone keep it, or plant it with a tree? I hear some cultures even eat it, but I just can't stomach that.
Warning: this is semi-graphic
After delivering our first two babies in a local hospital (my wife did all the work), for reasons I won't explain right now, my wife and I decided to have our next baby at a delivery center with a midwife. You know, the whole natural birth, anti-doctor, anti-drug, anti-establishment, anti-anything-else-you-can-think-of crowd. Which is good, because we are a lot of that as well, although not all. Well, we have to go through childbirth classes, again, even though there's nothing new to us. So our instructor is this nice lady who happens to specialize in Hypno birthing, and is just the epitome of the natural birth scene. No problem. Well at the second class, my wife and I are there a little early with one other couple and this lady is rummaging around in the closet. At 7:00 she tells us that people who are late miss out on her special treats. My wife, since she is pregnant, seems to think she is referring to chocolate, I however, am a bit more skeptical.
She pulls out a blue plastic bag and sets it on the ground. Then she lays out all these cotton medical rags. Okay, what's going on? She's going on and on about how lucky we are and how we're going to be so excited. I thought this lady was going to burst herself, with how much excitement she had.
So finally she opens up the bag and out flops ---- a placenta. For those of you who have seen your wife's placenta and think its cool, good for you, but I had managed to make it through two deliveries without ever having to see the thing, and now here in front of me is some unknown lady's placenta. And this thing was fresh. She told us how a lady had delivered it there the same morning!
For the next half hour this lady is poking and examining this extremely bloody mound, and telling us all the bad things the mother ate, or where she was exposed to second hand smoke, or what kind of medicine she was taking. It was like sitting in on a spiritist or diviner's session. She was yanking away on the cord, and stretching the outer membranes. Anyways, when she pulled it out I was hoping that one of the pregnant women would lose it and throw up just to teach her a lesson for pulling that thing out without a warning. Needless to say, it was an interesting class.
So do any of you out there have any special placenta stories? Anyone keep it, or plant it with a tree? I hear some cultures even eat it, but I just can't stomach that.
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